I think it’s time for me to purge my words here.
That doesn’t mean I am not scared, though. Sharing our travels and recipes is one thing, but our health?
I believe very strongly in allowing my children to tell their own stories in their own ways in their own time. I also believe that our story as a whole could possibly help others. I will try to choose my words carefully, sharing what I can while also protecting the hearts of those who fill my heart.
There is a beginning to the story, but it is so long ago that many won’t believe it. I have spent my oldest son’s entire life (from weeks old) fighting, knowing something wasn’t right. I was brushed off, passed on, ignored, and placated. I also refused to give up. Mama Bears know, right?
I became so hyper focused on my son over the years that I brushed off the other ailments we were having -each one of us showing specific signs.
Fast forward to 2018, when John (a marathoner) couldn’t get out of bed. Doctors had no answers and I was on the brink of a breakdown. I was dealing with my own depression, failing health of all of the kids (ER trips, anxiety, migraines, and so much more), and now my husband looked like a ghost. It lasted over a month until he was actually able to function again.
LYME.
It took fighting with doctors to even have him tested. There was no tick bite that took him out. Lyme had been laying dormant in him waiting to be triggered. It took finding an herbalist who worked with Lyme to get John out of bed.
Fast forward to 2020, another cross-country move, the pandemic, and watching our oldest son’s body start shutting down. He was unable to wake up for 18 hours a day or more. Doctors (again) had no answers.
We sought out different help. We were told to see a functional doctor by our pediatrician. We went basically broke in doing so, but we started getting answers. Chronic Lyme, co-infections, etc… his body could not absorb zinc. He was in trouble. Thank God we were able to get him on the right supplements and meds.
Oh, but wait… that’s not nearly the end. If anything, it’s another beginning.
Things were getting a bit better. His brain fog was lessened, his speech even improved. He could dominate the soccer field again. But then there was this backslide. Then there were the other issues we were all having that couldn’t be explained.
My oldest daughter’s migraines and stomach pains (and sadness, anxiety, and general body aches) were intensifying again. My joint pains, brain fog, circulation issues, and more were off the charts. Our youngest boy’s speech dramatically changed. There were crazy, unexplainable ailments happening in all of the kids. John was having issues – we all were.
After walking through this journey in an eerily similar way with my best friend and her family, I pushed for Mycotoxin testing. We could only afford for 2 of us to be tested – Emmett and Myself. The doctor’s reasoning was that Emmett had to be tested, and if I came back positive then everyone else would be as well.
Our world changed with the results.
CHRONIC LYME. CO-INFECTIONS. MOLD POISONING.
MOLD.
MOLD.
MOLD.
WTF.
Because we have lived in 9 homes (not including temporary rentals while waiting for homes), there was absolutely no way to figure out where our initial exposure could have been. But the fact was this:
You cannot heal from mold if you are living in mold.
You cannot treat Lyme if you are suffering from Mycotoxin Illness.
Round and round we have been spinning. Calling in several mold companies and replacing already clean air ducts just to be safe – installing UV filters and electronic filtration systems to have the (literally) cleanest air you can breathe. We’ve searched walls and replaced insulation. We’ve driven ourselves mad and come back to reality again. This house is basically cleaner than a hospital.
So now we heal, right?
It’s not that simple. We are sick. We have been told that this will take time … lots of it. It’s hard to explain to people, really. We don’t look sick. We can’t just take an antibiotic and be good to go. There are good days, sometimes several in a row! Then there are days when I have to talk myself down from screaming.
We are so grateful that we live such healthy lives or this entire thing would be much (MUCH) worse. Our health choices thus far with the kids (we have been told) have saved them from so much that it’s hard to even think about… but this shit is still really hard.
I am so grateful for my marriage and our strength together. I’m grateful that God is with us and guiding us. I’m grateful for the progress we have made so far and for everything that the future holds.
If you have (or are) dealing with autoimmune illness(es), know that I am saying a prayer for you and your family. This journey is not for the weak, but we will fight and heal and find our normal.